Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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