Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
