nut hugger
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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