The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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