nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize