Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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