so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
