worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
