Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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