I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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