dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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