i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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