I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
