i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
