hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
50% drunk capacity currently
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
