How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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