I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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