I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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