I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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