Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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