More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
