"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
