After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
