Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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