I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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