fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize