Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
