dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
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I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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