tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
