Kareoke will never be a sober sport
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
