Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
