i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
