Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
