well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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