if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
