I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize