Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on