it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator