i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going