And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.