You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
