There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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