Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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