hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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