A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
