I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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