My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
