Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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