like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have post one night stand depression
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