this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
