I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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