Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
