when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
