just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
