some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
