Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
