I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize