walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
