I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
