remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
