I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
