is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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