My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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